The world watches, holding its breath. What’s happening there inside the Sistine Chapel? The common belief is that the cardinals are sit around big tables, holding the conclave with seriousness, composure, spirituality. It’s a paramount decision, influenced by God… and international politics. They are about to decide the head of one of the most important nations on the planet, after all.

Then there is my own scenario: I’d love to see the conclave from a LIVE CAM placed in the chapel, and discover that inside everybody is screaming and jangling: a total catfight with the cardinals pulling each other’s hair “I want to be the next pope! You don’t deserve it, bitch!” “You old pedophile, I’m gonna be the pope, you have no chances!“. With the poor camerlengo Tarcisio Bertone trying -uselessly- to separate many very competitive contenders. Then, at the end of each fight, everybody drinks hard spirits and smokes a mega-joint. That’s the smoke the world sees coming out from the chimney.